It often took her several minutes to gain full control of her senses and convince herself she was truly safe and far away from her dead family. Jenni was glad that he understood she didn't want to be touched or soothed when she woke from a nightmare. Juan's hand gently touched her back, then withdrew. Laying her forehead against her drawn-up knees, she took deep breaths and tried to calm her wildly beating heart. In the dim light leaking in around the edges of the makeshift tent, she could see the sleeping form of Juan, her tall, sexy Mexican-American boyfriend. She woke and sat up sharply, her heart thundering in her chest. Slowly, she raised her other hand to her mouth and felt that her lips were slick with blood. One of her hands clutched the glistening flesh tightly. His tender belly was torn, and his intestines were strung across the bed. "What did you do to Benji? Oh, God, Jenni, what the hell is wrong with you?" "What the hell are you eating?" Lloyd's dark form in the doorway terrified her. Jenni looked at him, trying to swallow before he could see that she was eating outside the strictly regimented diet he had created for her, claiming that it would keep her thin and beautiful. "What the hell are you doing?" Lloyd's sharp voice startled her. She closed her eyes, stuffed the rest of the cookie into her mouth, and chewed vigorously, hoping to banish the thoughts. Images flashed in her mind: bloody, chaotic, and terrible. "No," Jenni whispered, pressing her hand to her forehead. ![]() He won't grow up, a voice echoed in her mind. Feeling a little hungry, she grabbed up the cookie and started to nibble on it.ĭon't grow up to be like him, she wished again. To pacify her health-freak husband, she used all-natural ingredients in the cookies, and they were delicious. She didn't see the harm in it, even though Lloyd said she was spoiling them. Both the boys enjoyed a nighttime snack before bed. There was one oatmeal cookie on the plate, but the milk glass was empty. Standing up, she looked at the remains of Benji's bedtime snack on the side table. ![]() She kissed Benji's forehead and breathed in his sweet baby smell. "I want you not to be like him," she whispered to Benji as he slept. Frankly, she preferred it when he stayed downstairs, watching porn, calling his girlfriends, and leaving her to sleep alone in their bed. He grew annoyed when she checked on them at night and accused her of using that as an excuse to spy on his late-night habits. Lloyd hated it when she "coddled" the boys. She tensed, listening intently for the sounds of Lloyd's footsteps on the stairs, but heard only the distant hum of the TV. She wanted him to grow up to be a good,strong man who would love his family and protect them, not brutalize them and make them fear him.Ī noise from downstairs startled her. He looked like Lloyd, and every day, Jenni prayed that Benji did not have his father's violent temper or cruel streak. ![]() Her fingers gently caressed his soft, full cheek, then smoothed his curls back from his face. He was just recovering from a cold and she wanted to make sure he didn't get chilled. Smiling, Jenni knelt down and tucked his Winnie-the-Pooh blankets closer around his body. His little hand was thrown over his dark blond curls, his lips parted as he softly snored. The Mickey Mouse night-light illuminated the room, revealing the form of her sleeping three-year-old in his racing car-shaped bed. Warily, wanting to avoid alerting him to her presence, she hurried into Benji's room. She could clearly discern the black silhouette of his head against the brightly lit screen. ![]() Through the railing, she could see her husband, Lloyd, in his usual seat in the living room, staring at the plasma-screen TV. She shoved her long dark hair out of her face and glanced down the staircase. Groggily, Jenni walked toward her youngest son's bedroom, near the top of the stairs. The light flickered along the walls and ceiling, providing just enough brightness to make out her path. The hallway was barely lit by the blue glow shimmering up the stairs from the TV in the living room.
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